January 4, 2011 – At supper we were talking about the fact that we will soon have a new senator (Roy Blunt moved from the House to the Senate) to join Senator McCaskill, and Andrew said, “Is that Hillary McCaskill?”  We thought that was pretty insightful!

December 23, 2010 – Discussion with Katie after Mom asked Andrew to empty the mop bucket, and he agreed to empty the bucket but was unwilling to clean out the bucket and mop:  “I have a horrible life.”  (Katie) “Why is your life horrible?” “Because I complain about every single little thing my mom and dad ask me to do.”

November 27, 2010 – Commenting on a billboard seen in Branson West coming home from a terrific family time (all six!) at Millennium Bowl, “I saw a kitty in a tutu doing kung fu!”

March 16, 2010 – Said in mock frustration while joking around with Josiah:  “I’m going to confisticate your pants!”

March 7, 2010 – Jessica accidentally kicked an ice cream glass that Josiah had left on the floor near his desk.  It shattered and Josiah said, “You know, I never thought about it before, but broken glass has a really distinctive smell.”

November 3, 2009 – Andrew read the book, “How Do Chameleons Change Color?” and pronounced the animal’s name, “CHAM-uh-leens.”

June 12, 2009 – Comment by Andrew on hearing our neighbor, Eva Deal, explaining the details of her husband, Don’s, death earlier that morning:  “He just ran out of life.”

May 26, 2009 – Comment by Andrew during the first of NUMEROUS Viagra/Cialis commercials in tonight’s Cardinals ball game (Scott mutes the commercials, so we see them but don’t hear them):  “Wow!  This commercial is just about a lot of old people kissing.”  I’m glad he didn’t know what the advertisements were really about, but excuse me, son.  Those actors were probably all of three years older than me!

May 24, 2009 – Asked by Andrew while straightening up the dining room:  “Is this Josiah’s lipstick?”  It was.

March 18, 2009 – Blurted out by Josiah as we were driving home from church:  “Do you realize what would happen if photons had mass?!?!?”

November 6, 2008 – Comment after hearing a story on NPR about a 20-something biracial girl who voted for Obama because, “well, he’s brown:”  “Well that’s stupid.”  (Mom: “What’s stupid?”)  “Voting for someone just because he’s brown.”  Is there anything ironic about this statement?  = )

November 3, 2008 – Hollered in shock from the first floor, where he was watching his favorite interior design show, “MOM!  These folks have a purple toilet!!!”

October 29, 2008 – Said with a loud gasp and both hands over his mouth in shock and awe as we passed the billboard in Ozark where QT’s gas prices are posted:  “Oh, my gosh!  I’ve never seen a one there!”  The price per gallon was $1.96.  In his lifetime it’s always been $2-, $3-, or $4- something.

September 19, 2008 – Overheard while in the van with Andrew and John Lilly (one of his five best friends):  “John, you know, someday this van is going to die.  And when it does, we’re going to get a new van.  And guess what it’s going to have?!?!?  HUBCAPS!”

August 25, 2008 – At dinner were discussing the recent premature birth of a baby (four months early) who is now four weeks old and weighs one pound, 13 ounces.  Capitalizing on a possible teachable moment, Scott asked Andrew if he knew what abortion was.  “Yep.  It’s when they kill a baby before it even comes out of its mother’s tomb.”

August 22, 2008 – I like to listen to books on tape in the car, but since the rest of the family doesn’t, I use a small cassette player with earphones. However, Andrew had listened with me to part of the final tape of “Man of the Family” (“Little Britches” series), and he liked it a lot. Yesterday, he asked me if he could use my tape player to listen to one of the earlier tapes of that book and I said that was fine. A few minutes later, he came into the office – earphones on, tape in one hand, and player in the other. “Mom, I am sorry that I am so dumb, but can you please show me how to get this thing in?” At age nine, he had never actually used a tape player and couldn’t figure out which way to insert the tape! Scott and I laughed and simultaneously felt old.

August 10, 2008 – (whispered in church, as our pastor walked in and took his place on the front row during praise and worship) “Mom! LOOK at Pastor’s socks. They’re SNAZZY!”

July 24, 2008 – (while driving home from gymnastics) “Mom, do you have an address for a Toyota dealership?” “Ummm, no.” “Well, that’s too bad, because I have a name for a new car. It’s the Toyota Sidilia. I was going to spell it S-E-D-E-E-L-I-A, but I thought that would be a bit odd, so I’m just going to go with the other.”

January 20, 2008 – (when told he could wear “jeans and a nice shirt” to our upcoming annual ministry banquet) “MOM, that’ll look stupid. I’m fashion-conscious.”

November 11, 2007 – (while watching a Mike Riddle teaching DVD about evolution) “There sure are a lot of high words in this video.”

November 1, 2007 – (the day after the church’s Fall Festival, where Andrew didn’t bother to pick up a bag and therefore came home with just a pocketful – PTL!!! – of candy) Said with a mournful face, “I wish God could rewind life, so I could go back and get a whole bag of candy.”

July 31, 2007 – Andrew was mowing the front yard, which involves some little slopes, and he was having a hard time pushing it up them. I offered to help him on the uphills and he said, “Mom. It’s ungodly for women to mow. Women do things like cooking and cleaning and housework like that. Men fix cars and mow and stuff like that.”

July 28, 2007 – Katie had picked him up from Janet Kunz, and they were tooling along Battlefield in Springfield. They passed a fitness center, and Andrew said, “I bet all the people in there are men.” “Why’s that?” Katie asked. “Because. They go there to get those bumps on their arms.”

1 Response to “Andrewisms, etc.”


  1. 1 Peyton March 22, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Well, I have to ask… in your entry of March 16, 2010, you had the quote “I’m going to confisticate your pants!”. Is this funny/notable because of taking someone’s pants or because of the spelling: confisticate vs. confiscate? When I was a kid, I had a friend who used to say confisticate and it was a long time before I learned the correct pronunciation of this word. Anyway, thanks for bringing back some fun, old memories!


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