A reading from Luke 2, PSRV

1 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Patty’s brain that all the seeds should be planted.

2 (And this planting was first made when Valentine’s Day had arrived.)

3 And all the seeds went into moistened peat pellets, every two into their own pellet.

4 And the pelletized tomato and red pepper and jalapeno seeds were all placed first into tan plastic trays under clear plastic lids, and then set in non-leaking foil pans that were carefully positioned on the middle of Jessica’s bed (because we had thrown out the dead office closet computer upon which we had germinated seeds for many years:)

5 To be warmed by her bed-heater, the bed being unmade and great with heat.

6 And so it was, that, while Patty waited, the days were accomplished that the seeds should begin to sprout.

7 And she brought forth her attic nursery, and set up the PVC frame, and laid out the ironing board, but then became greatly distressed; because there were no fluorescent fixtures or bulbs for them in the attic.

8 And there were in the same attic Robertses, searching in the library and the secret closet and Katie’s room and Katie’s closet, seeking two four-foot-long fluorescent fixtures and four four-foot-long fluorescent bulbs, keeping watch for them by the afternoon sun.

9 And, lo, Scott came to Patty and Josiah and spoke to them, and the glory of renewed hope sprung within them: and they were neither sore nor afraid.

10 And Scott said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I took down the attic nursery last year because it had remained up for so very long, and it did, yea and verily frustrate me. And although I don’t remember where I put the fixtures and bulbs, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

11 For in the shop, you may find those items, which will be to you a great light.

12 And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the bulbs in the shop or in the lawn building or in the smokehouse or in the playroom or in the cellar, probably not wrapped in anything and lying wherever I placed them.

13 And despite looking diligently in all those places, there was sadly no heavenly host praising God, and saying,

14 Glory to God in the highest, and in the attic, peace and good light toward seedlings.

15 And it came to pass, as Patty realized the gravity of the situation, that she said to Scott, Let me now go even unto Home Depot, and see those things which I need to buy, which the Lord hath not made known unto us.

16 And she went with haste, and passing F Highway, considered that no tomato-loving Roberts would ever have trashed the sought-after items. Hence they had to be somewhere on the property, but what could possibly be the hiding place for six white items each four feet long? And she thought of Katie’s bed.

17 And when she had had this thought, she made known to Jo’s cell phone the saying which might be true concerning these items.

18 And he, when he heard it, also wondered at this thing which was told him by his mother. And he did go immediately and look under Katie’s bed, where the six lost items all were found.

19 But Patty kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.

20 And she returned home, glorifying and praising God for all the things that had been found, as it was told unto her.

21 And when twenty minutes were accomplished for the connecting and setting up of the lights, the job was called FINISHED, which was so named of Patty before it had been begun.

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3 Responses to “A reading from Luke 2, PSRV”


  1. 1 servantofthesecretfire February 20, 2016 at 7:27 pm

    Oh my goodness, this is HILARIOUS. I laughed until I cried!

  2. 2 walnutshademom February 20, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Awww! That does my heart good and makes me smile. = )

  3. 3 hab318 February 21, 2016 at 12:29 am

    This is simply delightful.


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