Dumb phone – again

I am now the proud owner of a brand new smart phone.  It’s really, really smart.  It will do lots and lot of things that I have never wanted or needed a phone to do, and I think that it’s all these features that make it think it’s super intelligent.  However, I have news for my phone:  it’s not quite as bright as it thinks it is.

My old phone – no, sadly NOT my Nokia, but my more recent version, a Samsung Evergreen – could make a nice watery noise every hour on the hour to remind me to drink water; said drinking is very important for my health and weight loss.  As I said, my old phone could do that, but this smart phone cannot.

For that reason, my Technological Support Expert (Andrew) offered to download for me an app that will do this.  I said OK, mainly because I was an ignorant first-time smart phone user.  I naively thought that downloading an app would take a minute or two, but no.  We have been laboring – and yes, it’s been almost as frustrating as giving birth – for about 40 minutes now.

I am choosing not to get frustrated.  I have plenty of other more significant things upon which to focus my attention, so I am staying calm, cool, and collected while Andrew and I wrangle with this thing.  In fact, I am actually keeping calm and Spinneying on.  = )

But the insanity of this phone on this one point is extreme.  In order to download the (free) alarm app, I have to have an Apple account.  In order to get one of those, I have to have a username.  This is OK.  I have dozens of other accounts in cyberspace and so I keep a list of my usernames and passwords.  I have a handful of each that I use, simply because I know them and can remember them.  ALL of my tried-and-true usernames are already in use by someone else!!!  And it won’t tell you that that is the case until you have jumped through numerous hoops!  How idiotic is that?!?  So I laboriously click and type all this stuff over and over and over and over again, only to learn that I can’t use it.  The reason it’s so laborious is that I can’t just use a normal password.  I must use one of at least eight characters, including both upper and lower case letters and numbers.  And I have to type it twice.  And on a keyboard where I don’t know where the various letters and numbers are.  So I do it slowly, and about the eighth or ninth try, when it looked like we finally had a username that was acceptable, when I got to the end of the process, it said my session had timed out and to please try again!!!

I gave the phone to the guys and came to my desk.  At my desk, I have a VERY old-fashioned computer with an exceedingly cheap (but ergonomically perfect for me) external keyboard.  My computer works.  My keyboard works.  The alarm to remind me to drink water was a luxury feature, but even without it, I can go even more seriously Old School and look at the clock on the wall every thirty minutes.  Or maybe I could construct a sun dial.

I refuse to let my life be controlled by the frustrations of modern technology.

And I love my smart phone.  I love my smart phone.  I love my smart phone. . .

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