If / then water heater

If you are trying to make updates to your Quicken financial accounts, then at the exact moment that you get all the transactions downloaded and begin working, your husband will announce that he’s about to switch off breakers to drain the water heater, and you must immediately save everything on your computer.

If there is a counter full of dirty breakfast dishes to be done (including a greasy griddle from frying bacon), then just as Son #2 begins to tackle the breakfast cleanup, Husband #1 will announce that he’s shutting off the water to the house, so as to drain the water heater.

If you scramble to save files and close programs, then immediately after you close your computer, your husband will walk into the office and tell you he’s done with the breakers.

If you have taken your diuretic and feel that your bladder is about to burst, and if you discipline yourself to wait. . . wait. . . wait. . . until there will be a way to flush and wash your hands, and if you call your husband (who is working out at the well house) to find out when the water might be turned back on, then his phone will ring eight feet away from you, on his desk.

If you traipse out to the well house to ask your very pressing question in person, then your husband will tell you that the water’s turned back on and has been back on for “quite a while.”

But if you want to take a shower in the attic, then  you will have a very full tank of very hot water!


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