Our vehicles all live out on driveways, and none are under any type of man-made cover.  Of course, there are a lot of trees overhanging various portions of the two driveways, so there is natural (a.k.a. leafy) cover for some seven months of the year.

Birds like leafy cover, too, and this time of year is the height of flocks-aloft season.  It seems that a significant number of birds have decided that our van is located in their outhouse.  Today is Wednesday, and ten days ago, I drove the van through the VERY nifty “pull-you-through” car wash at Sam’s in Springfield.  We had stopped there to pick up some stuff after church.  Actually, I had a sore foot, so the rest of the gang did the Sam’s shopping while I got the van washed.  The main reason to wash it was that our feathered friends had made several unsolicited deposits to various glass surfaces, and few things are as gross as looking through bird poop while driving.

The van looked great after its Sam’s wash, and we brought it back home to sit in the outhouse under the trees.

At 2:30 PM yesterday (Tuesday), I walked out to the van to go pick up Andrew and Grandma who had spent most of the day at Silver Dollar City.  The van was COVERED with plops!!!  It looked like someone had attacked it with thousands of tiny snowballs.  Some of the “snowballs” were rather dirty.  I couldn’t stand to drive the van in that condition, so I ran in and grabbed Windex and paper towels and started to work – BUT not before counting the plops, which numbered 73; disregarding some of the minor ones located in less prominent positions.  I removed approximately 69, leaving only those that – given my height-challenged status – would have required a ladder.  Feeling pleased and somewhat smug that the van no longer sported a polka-dot motif, I did yea and verily pick up my passengers.  Who, I might add, did indeed comment on the bird poop high centered on the windshield.

This morning I went out to walk, returning home at about 8:00 AM, which was a mere 17 hours after yesterday’s latrine-scrubbing event.  I was appalled, shocked, and more than slightly embarrassed to find some 20 fresh plops on the van!  How discouraging.  Perhaps I should add some Immodium to the sunflower seed in the bird feeders.

There is obviously no point attacking this newest set of deposits until five minutes before our next departure, and although I’d really like to have a clean van when I pick up Kristy from the airport tomorrow, and although we do need to make another stop at Sam’s tonight, there may also be no point in visiting his VERY nifty “pull-you-through” car wash again.  Unless perhaps we park the van in a field somewhere and hike home.

Jesus reigns, but at our house, whitewash rains, too.


1 Response to “Poop-mobile”

  1. 1 Jess May 21, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    MOM! There is an “IT’S” in this post! You must rectify this situation immediately!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s



%d bloggers like this: