Gifted and talented

I am clearly both.

I have officially perfected the technique of selecting not only the shortest (“20 items or less express”) checkout line at Wal-Mart, but also the one that, while appearing to be the shortest, simultaneously moves the slowest and therefore causes one to stand in line longer than one would at ANY other checkout line in the store.  It has taken me years to hone this skill to a state of finesse, but I have definitely succeeded.

No matter which line I choose, it will be the molasses-in-January line.  Furthermore, I am pretty sure I deserve bonus recognition, because even though I may the second or third person in line, the people in line behind me consistently query me as if I’m the cause of the delay.

I am not sure that this skill translates to other stores (like Country Mart or Staples), but at Wal-Mart it is a law of the Medes and the Persians that cannot be altered.

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