So the Weather Service drone is droning on, Jessica’s commenting that with Katie’s flight so late she’ll need to eat something to avoid the killer stomach pains to which she is prone, Andrew’s crying, and I’m trying to figure out what to do, when we spot Krispy Creme. Yes, that’s the ticket! Add some food to the equation and things are bound to improve. = )
At the drive-thru, we surveyed our options. Did you know that ONE donut now costs over a dollar? Not that that mattered, but seeing that one DOZEN donuts cost $7.50 (!!!), I decided to splurge. After all, Katie would be home soon. Time toparty, right? So we selected our dozen various donuts, pulled up, paid, got the goods, and asked the donut lady if she knew whether or not the tornado warning had yet been cancelled. No, it was still on.
As I pulled away from the building, with my window still down, Andrew hollered, “Mom! Close the window fast!” Now, our readers must realize that Andrew is DEEPLY into all things van-related. He dearly loves “the transmitter,” (the little push-button thingy that unlocks the doors remotely – which I never use), and for light recreational reading, his new favorite is the van’s owner’s manual. No joke. One day I told him he needed some fresh air and to go out and play for an hour. Thirty minutes later, I found him sitting in the van reading the owner’s manual.
Therefore, when he hollered at me to close the window, I assumed he was simply enthralled with its power mechanism or something. I was wrong. I looked to my left and saw a WALL of water pouring out of the sky and marching very quickly toward me. Power windows only go up at one speed, and a mere two seconds after mine hit the top, the deluge broke. It was one of those frog-strangling downpours, where the wipers on high speed don’t even start let you see. Andrew cried harder and I assured him in my most cheerful voice that all was and would be well.
Inside, I wondered if I should stay in the left northbound lane of Campbell (where I couldn’t see squat) or get in the right lane (where the water was suddenly six inches deep) or pull off into some parking lot (none of which I could see at all). I also thought about whether or not tornadoes really could pick up vehicles, and if so, whether those vehicles were more likely to be airlifted while moving or while parked.
Through the curtain of rain, I spied a school bus ahead of me. It wore brightly flashing lights which allowed me to see where I was going (hallelujah!), so I decided that no matter where it was headed, I would follow that bus till the rain stopped. North on Campbell. . . west on Sunshine. . . at least the bus was leading me in the general direction of the airport (and airport terminals are certainly built to withstand tornadoes, right?) and as a bonus, Andrew had stopped crying.
It suddenly occurred to my lightning fast mind that we would probably arrive at the airport an hour or more before Katie would, which would mean sitting around the boring airport lobby with absolutely nothing to do. It was 8:35 PM, and I assumed the Library Station in north Springfield would be open till 9:00 PM like the Library Center we had just left. If this storm really was moving east at 70 mph, surely it would be out of town soon, and we’d be able to pop in there and pick up something to read while we waited.
Abandoning my escort bus, I turned north on Scenic, hoping to weave my way back to Kansas Expressway and take it up to I-44, where we could quickly do the library and then zip on out to the airport. It was not to be. On Scenic, there seemed to be no streetlights, no visible lines on the road, and absolutely no traffic to follow. It was kind of like driving with your eyes closed; I couldn’t see jack. But Andrew sounded pretty chipper, so I pressed on into the inky black rain.
Jessica asked where we were going and I mentioned my Library Station plan However, she told me that Andrew had a CD player and that she and Josiah had books, so we didn’t need to stop there. Well, that solved one problem. I could go back to heading northwest. Scanning my mental map of Springfield, I knew I needed turn left somewhere to get out to West Bypass, which I could then take north to the airport road. Jeez. If only I had a school bus to lead me.
I was trying to to stay on the road and remember the next big east-west street north of Sunshine. It would be . . . uh. . . Chestnut Expressway! Sure enough, we eventually came up to a cockeyed intersection with that thoroughfare, and as we sat at the stoplight, what should I spy turning west onto Chestnut Expressway in front of me, but a schoolbus!!!! WOW! Now that was REALLY nice of God. Bus #2 led me to West Bypass, that took me up to Kearney, and that took me to the airport. Whew! What a ride.
Inside, we waited and waited and waited, talking every now and then to Katie who was waiting and waiting and waiting in the DFW airport. At one point, she was told that her plane was under a weight restriction, and they were asking for two volunteers to wait and fly the next day. “I don’t know if they’ve gotten their volunteers yet or not, Mom, but I can tell you that I’m NOT volunteering!” At another point, she was told that they were waiting on a plane. At yet another point, she was told that they were waiting for another flight in front of them (also to Springfield) to leave. I kept checking the Springfield flight board, but her flight wasn’t even listed there at all.
Eventually, I tried to call her and my call was forwarded, which was either good (she had turned off her phone for take-off) or bad (her cell phone had finally died). We hoped for the former, and at 9:36 PM, her flight appeared on the board with the words “delayed – 9:42 PM.” Hey now, that looked promising. Maybe she was not only in the air but about to land! At 10:15 PM, we finally met the girl of our dreams. She was exhausted and famished. Josiah ran out to the van and brought her in one of the donuts so she wouldn’t faint. He’s a nice guy that way.
As we FINALLY left the airport, in what was now only a light rain, we asked Katie where she wanted to eat. Our only restrictions were that she had to like it and it had to be open. She’d had Wendy’s for lunch (a small eternity ago) and wanted something different. Trying to think of 24-hour restaurants, I came up with Steak N Shake, which wasn’t her first choice but could work. “Well, Mom, let’s do Steak N Shake,” (coincidentally located across the street from Krispy Kreme) “unless we see something better along the way.”
We passed Hardee’s, McD’s, KFC, Taco Bell, Waffle House, to all of which she stated, “keep driving.” Then she spied an Arby’s and she sighed deeply. “Ahhhh. . . Arby’s.” The dining room looked dark. We’d have to drive through and eat in the car, but it was food she’d like, and she was starving. After some debate, she said she’d prefer that to Steak N Shake, so I pulled in. I knew it would be costly (as mentioned in the previous post), but Katie was home and I did not care.
We took our own sweet time at the menu board, which really didn’t matter at all, because there was not another soul anywhere around that part of Springfield, much less at the Arby’s drive-thru. Their menu has changed a lot, and it took us a while to locate the Beef n Cheddars that most of us like. They are available in three sizes and we ordered some of each, some with bacon, some without, and quite a few curly fries. They had to fry the fries fresh, so we pulled on up to the back door to wait. After listening to Katie’s stomach growl for several minutes, the store manager brought us two sacks of what promised to be a feast.
I drove while the kids sorted out the goods. I was given a huge order of piping hot curly fries (yum), which I attacked while I drove. Then the bomb dropped. These sandwiches were in clean plastic “clam-shell” boxes, and each one was sitting in a puddle of what looked like a quarter cup of ketchup. Only it wasn’t ketchup; it was Arby Sauce. AARRGGHH!! In the past a Beef N Cheddar contained exactly three ingredients: two buns, a pile of thinly sliced roast beef, and some cheddar cheese sauce. Why in the name of all that is righteous would they have polluted five perfectly good sandwiches with ARBY SAUCE?!?!?!
Well, we were driving south no matter what, and there was nothing for it but to eat them, so after the fastest prayer in the west, the kids dug in. Katie commented that she wasn’t sure how I would eat mine, but I wasn’t worried. We tooled on down West Bypass, and I figured as soon as we hit the James River and I could put it on cruise, I could attack my supposedly sloppy sandwich.
Josiah opened my box and handed it to me. With forearms on the steering wheel, I balanced the heavy box in my left hand and tried to pick up the sandwich with my right. This was not happening. The whole thing was mush. When I tried to grab it, my thumb went all the through the bun, meat and squishy stuff. I was so hungry I could hardly see straight, so I just leaned forward, shoved my chin into the mess and took a bite, dog-style. This was not fun. I was already up to my right wrist in Arby Sauce, there was something wet (cheese sauce? Arby Sauce?) all over my nose, and to further complicate matters, I was quickly approaching a slow-moving car in the right lane.
Turn signal. I shouldn’t change lanes without using my turn signal, but there was no way to reach it. I called for a napkin – actually needing something more the size of a bath towel – and laughed as I told Josiah there was no way for me to hit the turn signal. He did it for me from the passenger seat! In fact, he reached across me to turn my signals on and off all the way to Ozark! It was really a funny situation.
Despite the less-than-perfect food, Katie said she was just glad that THIS vehicle would not be weather-delayed in reaching its destination. True, but the pilot was probably wearing Arby Sauce on her entire face and upper torso. However, we made it home, I hosed myself off, and we won’t be eating at Arby’s again any time soon.
