With our vast array of vehicles, it is frequently the case that one or more of them needs to be re-registered with the Great State if Missouri. We do this at the license bureau in Branson, and that would generally be the royal we. It is not financially feasible for Scott, who is paid by the hour, to take off time to go wait at the license bureau, so he usually sends me to do that little taskette. (Time is money, but his time is more money than mine!)
Scott told me that the van – a 1998 Dodge Grand Caravan – needed new tags before the end of the month, so on Monday, November 24, I took the parcel of paperwork he provided and headed to one of my favorite places – not. It was important that I get the tags that day, because we would be out of town Wednesday the 26th through Friday the 28th, and the end of the month would fall on Sunday. I was unwilling to try to get the tags on Tuesday, because I have learned, both from having two daughters take driving tests and from observation over the years that Tuesdays and Thursdays are driving test days; therefore no one in his right mind should EVER enter the license bureau on either of those two days for any reason other than taking a driving test. So I HAD to get the job done on Monday.
It seems that Monday was the first day for a new company to take over the license bureau. The state contracts with a company to run the joint, which means the folks there aren’t actually employees of the state. That fact gave me pause, but the line was short and the lady I got was very nice.
I have not yet fully comprehended the logic of the various papers that must be presented to renew one’s vehicle. I do have a college degree, but I confess that I just trust Scott to hand me the right sheaf of documents and hope that everything is correct. The lady riffled through my collection, which included, but may not have been limited to:
- the renewal notice
- the current (or expired?) registration
- a safety inspection less than 60 days old
- proof of insurance (I dug through the glove box in an attempt to find this and located three different proofs of insurance. One of them expires in June of 2009, so I figured that was the correct one.)
- paid personal property tax receipts for 2006 and 2007
All seemed to be in order until she got to the tax receipts. “Wait a minute. It looks like you bought this van in October of ‘05.” Yes, we had done so. “So that means you would have owned it on January 1 of ‘06.” Yes, that made sense. “And it’s listed on your 2007 tax receipt, but not on your 2006 tax receipt, so I can’t renew your registration because this receipt doesn’t show that you paid taxes on it in 2006.” Lovely. I looked more closely at the 2006 receipt. It listed our 1995 Ford Aerostar (check), our 1999 Honda Accord (check), our 1997 Ford Windstar (check), our 1986 Toyota Camry (check), our pop-up trailer (check), and our canoe trailer (check). WAIT A MINUTE! “Hey, this 2006 receipt – the one that doesn’t list our 1998 Dodge Grand Caravan – lists our 1997 Ford Windstar, which was a lemon, and we haven’t owned that vehicle for several years!” She looked too. “Hmmm… it looks like Taney County really messed this up.”
She continued. “How did you get the renewal done last year? They would have looked at your 2005 and 2006 receipts, and they couldn’t renew it last year if it wasn’t on the 2006 receipt.” I replied that I didn’t know the answer to that question and by the way, what would she suggest, given that this was my only opportunity to renew the vehicle before the end of the month.
She told me I would have to call Taney County and talk to them. She kindly looked up their phone number for me and gave me the license bureau fax number. If they could fax her proof of taxes paid on the van, she could proceed.
I stepped out of line and and thanked God for cell phones. I called the number I’d been given, which ended up being the county collector’s office, and explained my situation. The county collector lady heard me out them said I would need to talk to the assessor’s office and she’s connect me. I explained to the assessor lady my situation and asked her advice. She pulled up our account, and (unlike health-related entities) was glad to talk with me about it, even though I am technically not Scott (in whose name all this tax stuff is listed) but am only married to him.
Yes, she could make those changes, and she wondered aloud how I had gotten my renewal last year. I told her I had no idea. She replied that the license bureau had clearly messed things up. = ) I told her which vehicles we did and didn’t own – or at least which ones I thought we had or had not owned as of January 1, 2006. She then told me that there was a problem. Since the Caravan was valued higher than the Windstar, and significantly so, we would owe more tax. Lovely.
Would I need to drive to Forsyth (read 15 miles one way) to pay the tax or could I do it over the phone? Yes, I could pay over the phone, BUT there would be a charge to use a credit card. And how much, pray tell, would that be? Well, I would need to wait ten minutes (becuase she had to enter my updated information) and then call back to the county collector’s office. They would take my money.
I waited 12 minutes for good measure and then called back to the county collector’s office. I got someone different from the first collector lady, so I explained my situation again. She looked up our account, saw the changes that had been made and said we would have to paid more tax. It was about $25. I told her I was fine with that and that I understood from the assessor lady that I could pay over the phone. Yes, I could, but there would be an extra charge to use a credit card. Okay, how much is that fee? It would be an additional 4.125%. I heard her punching her calculator. The credit card fee came to a whopping $1.84, but I was pretty sure we could spring for that. I gave her the necessary information, while everyone in the license bureau listened in. = )
Now that everyone agreed on which vehicles we had owned on a certain date nearly two years ago, and now that we had paid Taney County appropriately for that privilege, all that remained was for the collector lady to fax the license bureau lady proof of it all. Which she agreed to do immediately. I waited another five minutes for teh fax to come through then returned to the license bureau lady to pay my ~$58 to renew the van for two years. As I told her, even though it’s pushing 200,000 miles and we are looking toward replacing it, I really would have preferred to renew it for ten years, just to avoid the hassle, but at least I won’t be back at the license bureau for that particular vehicle until late 2010.
The curious thing is that in the Great State of Missouri, SOME cars can be renewed SOME years by mail. This year, the van HAD to be renewed in person, and it could be renewed for one or two years. Other times, I have gone in and been told that I can only renew the vehicle in question for one year. I am sure there is some logic to this, and I think I’ve been told that it has something to do with odd and even numbers, but I cannot remember those details.
I think a better way to do it would be this: ALL the vehicles one owns should all be due for renewal in your birthday month every two years. If you were born in an even year, they renew every even year, and likewise for odds. You get them all inspected within 60 days of the final day of your birthday month. You mail in the inspection, proof of insurance, and a check for $40 per vehicle. They mail you back the new two-year tags for each vehicle and you don’t think about renewing ANY vehicles for two more years!
By doing a flat $20/year= $40/vehicle fee, there are no goofy assessments or calculations to be figured. You never have to go to the license bureau except to get a driver’s license, so lots of staff positions can be cut. The state saves taxpayer money, and everyone is less stressed. Less stress means less Prozac prescribed, so health care costs and insurance rates go down. With lower health care costs, people have more expendable income, which they can save, spend, or invest. This would stimulate the economy, jobs would be created, and there would be no conceivable reason to bail out banks, auto manufacturers, Lowe’s, Wal-Mart, or Best Buy.
This is my vehicle registration plan, and I approve this message.




